I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
