It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
