sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
