You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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