I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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