so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
