She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
