apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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