My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
