My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
