You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
