i already hear my dad disowning me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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