if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
