Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
