Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
