i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
