I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just forgot I was standing up.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
