dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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