Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
