Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
