I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
