Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
