nutella sex= disaster
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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