i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So many bounce houses so little time
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
