Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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