I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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