There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
