was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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