Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
