All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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