it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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