I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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