i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
