And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
