Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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