Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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