Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
