Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
