dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
