what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't turn off my feet"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
