she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
