ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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