Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
