And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
