Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
