i don't like sucking hair
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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