The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
