when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
