im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
