How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
love makes seman taste better
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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